#i wang fo hug

[kerizaret]

I NEED a "hug" button on tumblr what do you mean I can't give a hug to my friends under posts where they are sad whay do you mean I can't just randomly spam hug them I have to do everything myself here

Hugging you all I love you sm

[jackiesnats]

Just Desserts - III

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff/Carol Danvers; Tony Stark/Bruce Banner

Wangs/Tags: Mommy Kink, Oral Sex on a Strapon, Vaginal Fingering

Summary:  Summary:  When Tony and Bruce invite their best friend Carol to one of Tony’s interesting parties, Carol isn’t excited. That was until she met the older woman, Natasha. So maybe, Tony did deserve a ‘Thank you’.

Carol hadn’t seen Natasha for a full week after they had sex for the first time, and a part of her began to grow anxious. What if Natasha realized she didn’t like her? But Carol shook that thought out of her head quicker than it coming in. As Carol took a sip of her water, she heard the doorbell ring, and she was quick to get up off of the couch.

As she opened the door, she expected the UPS man coming with her packages she ordered. Instead of it being UPS, it was both Tony and Bruce. “Hey, you busy?” Tony asked, and Carol shook her head. It wasn’t as if she had any plans, and Tony knew it.

“What’s wrong Carol?” Bruce asked, shutting the door behind him.

“Nothing’s wrong? Is it because I haven’t gone to any of your sugar parties?” she asked, trying to hold in a laugh as Tony pretended to be offended.

“They are not ‘sugar parties’, they’re just parties!” Tony smiled, and Bruce rolled his eyes.

“Tony, they are practically that.”

As they took a seat in her living room, Carol turned on the TV. She knew Tony was going to keep asking what was wrong until she told him. Nothing truly was wrong, but she would tell him at least something to get him off her case.

“I found someone the first time I went to on of your…parties. That’s why I told you I was leaving early that night,” she admitted, and Tony’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“I’m shocked that you did! But I’m happy for you,” Tony smiled.

Carol raised an eyebrow, unsure if she should really take it as a compliment, but she chose to ignore it. As she was about to change the subject, her phone went off.

Natasha: Hey, you busy tonight, baby?

Carol had to fight not to blush, but by the look Tony gave her, she knew she was.

“Oh? Was that the mystery woman?” he smirked, leaning in playfully. Carol rolled her eyes, quickly sending Natasha a text telling her she wasn’t busy.

“Yes it is, she asked if I was busy tonight.” she bit her lip, getting up to feed her cats.

“Well?”

“I told her I wasn’t busy.”

“Good! So when will we be able to meet her?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Soon, I promise.”

—-

Once they left, Carol was quick to jump into the shower. Natasha had texted her to let her know she’d be picking her up at seven, and it was already five-thirty. She was excited, especially since she hadn’t seen her in a week. Unsure of what Natasha had in mind - the only thing she hoped for was that they had a good time. Seven came by, and there was a knock on Carol’s front door. She quickly got up, and quickly (ran) walked to get it. Opening the door and greeting Natasha with a smile.

“You look lovely, Carol. Did you dress up just for me?” she smirked as she walked in. Carol shut the door behind her, wanting to hide the blush that was making its way to her face.

“I did, I just bought this skirt and the top I’ve had for ages. I hope you like it.” she asked, even though she knew the answer. Carol needed reassurance, and Natasha was happy to give it to her.

“I absolutely love it, baby,” she said, pulling Carol into a hug. “What would you like to do today?”

Natasha waited patiently for a response as Carol was thinking, and honestly, if she wanted to do nothing, she would do nothing with her. When the blonde bit her lip, she knew she had something in mind. “What do you have in mind, Carol? You can tell me, and we’ll do it. I promise.”

“Do you think we could go see a movie, and possibly dinner? I’ll pay fo-”

“Like I said, princess, you don’t need to pay. But of course, we can do that.” she smiled, kissing Carol on the cheek. “What movie did you have in mind?”

“I usually like horror or action, and they have that new movie, 'Fall Out’.”

“We’ll go get the tickets right now, love.”

—-

As soon as they got there, Natasha paid for their tickets for the next show that was in an hour. So with time to kill, they walked around the mall. “What store would you like to go to?” she asked, Carol instantly replied with “FYE”, and the two went looking for it. She wanted to look for a few CDs for her collection, some that had just came out, and others that she still needed to get.

Taking her time with looking at the used CDs, Carol asked, “What type of music do you like, Nat?”

Natasha hummed in response, unsure of how to answer. “I like all kinds, actually. I love everything from rap to rock, and things in between. But I don’t really listen to music that much anymore.” Carol raised an eyebrow - everyone she knew listened to music at least two times a day. At least.

“What?” Natasha asked, genuinely confused.

“You don’t listen to music?”

“Long car rides only, to be honest.” she shrugged, and Carol let it go. She was definitely going to show her the music she listened to.

After ten minutes of looking, Carol had picked out ten CDs and a few movies she’s been wanting for awhile. Natasha didn’t say anything as they made their way towards the front counter, but before she asked how much the total was, she handed the card to the cashier. Carol looked at Natasha, but looked away before they made eye contact.

Once they were out of the store, Carol stopped her. “Thank you, Nat. But-”

“I know I don’t have to, but remember, I really want to.” she assured you, holding your bags. “Let’s go to one of my favorite stores, I want to buy you an outfit.”

As they got to the store, Carol looked around the store. Unsure of what Natasha even had in mind for her. Telling her to follow her, they went all the way to the back of the store. Picking out clothes to try on and buy, and for the first time in a long time, Carol trusted someone to be this close to her.

—-

They made it into their seats just in time for the trailers to start, and Natasha sat the bags on the seat next to her. “I had a good time, Nat,” Carol smiled, taking the redhead’s hand into hers. Throughout the trailers, Natasha kept leaning in to kiss Carol’s hand. She knew what she was doing - but Carol was going to try her best not to give in. If she was going to tease her, she should be able to tease her right back. Moving her hand away from Natasha’s, she placed it onto the older woman’s thigh. Moaning as she felt what was in her pants, she looked up at Natasha to find the woman smirking.

“Nat…” she trailed off, knowing full well she let Natasha win, but it was worth it.

“Yes, Carol?”

“Please…can I see it?” she asked, knowing that now wasn’t the best time. But Natasha didn’t care one bit.

Natasha nodded her head, gesturing her to unzip her pants for her. As Carol began to do that, she pushed her thumb into her mouth. Carol continued to unzip her pants as she looked around to make sure the people coming in and out couldn’t see what she was doing.

Pulling her mouth off of Natasha’s thumb she asked, “Is this why you picked the far up seats?”

“Maybe so.” she winked.

Pulling the toy out of Natasha’s pants, Carol licked her lips. It was bigger than what she had ever seen, but she didn’t mind. Looking up at Natasha for permission, Carol took the tip of the toy into her mouth once she nodded. Taking it as far as she could go, Natasha held her in place as she fucked up into her.

When she made a gagging noise, Natasha pulled her off her strap. “You’ve gotta be quiet, Princess. After the movie I’m going to make you fucking come.”

All throughout the movie, Natasha’s lingering touch kept Carol distracted. She wanted to ask her if they could just skip the movie, and go to her place, but that wouldn’t work for her. She needed to come, needed the ache in the pit of her stomach to stop. Before it was over, Natasha slipped the you back into her pants, quickly zipping them up. Instantly going back to having her hand between Carol’s legs. Rubbing gentle circles against her clothed pussy, Natasha took her eyes off of the screen to see how she was holding up.

Sliding her panties to the side, Natasha pushed a single finger into her all the way to the knuckle. Smirking as watched Carol cover her mouth with her right hand, while her left hand went to hold her hand in place. “Please fuck me.” she cried, hoping that no one heard. Thankfully the fight scene playing was loud and distracting, or they would have been caught a while ago.

“How bad do you want me to fuck you right here? Fuck your pretty pussy with ny fingers?” she asked, keeping her finger nice and still.

“So bad, please, Nat,” she whispered, but Natasha sighed.

“I’ll give you two choices: Either I make you come here, and later you get nothing. Or I fuck you after the movie but you don’t get to come until the next time I see you. Hm?” she smirked, and Carol rolled her eyes. Gasping as Natasha pulled her finger out, sucking the digit clean. “I guess you don’t want anything then.”

Carol pouted the rest of the movie, knowing that the panties she wore were ruined.

—-

Once they were out of the movie, and back in Natasha’s car, Carol pleaded some more. But the redhead wasn’t having it. “You want to be fucked like a good little slut? Beg me, and maybe I’ll make you come.”

“Please, please. Want your strap, or your fingers. Please, Mommy-” Carol stopped herself, realizing what she had called Natasha. “I’m sorry.” But the redhead shook her head.

“No, don’t apologize. I actually prefer you calling me that while we’re in private.” she smiled softly, caressing her but her face hardened faster than Carol ever imagined it could. “But you still need to beg. Beg Mommy to fuck you, to make you come.”

Carol took a deep breath, hoping that the words she was about to say would make sense. “Mommy, please. I need you to touch me, make me come. Please? I need it.”

Natasha tapped her chin, playfully contemplating on what she should do. But when Carol’s face dropped, she pushed her skirt up, seeing that she in fact ruined her panties. “You’re lucky you’re so cute. I’m going to fuck you with my fingers, you haven’t earned my cock.”

Carol hummed, pulling her panties down to her knees before Natasha stopped her. Spreading her legs for her as far as they could, she held her skirt up so it wouldn’t get in the way. Trailing Carol’s thigh with her fingertips, Natasha slowly made her way to the spot Carol needed her the most.

Sliding a single finger into her wet pussy, Natasha moved pushed it in at a slow pace. Finally adding a second finger as she sped up her movements. “I can hear how soaked you are, who made you this wet?” she asked, her free hand pulling at your hair. Eyes never leaving Carol even as she closed hers.

“Oh god, Mommy. You did, you made me this wet.” she moaned, hearing the sounds coming front her cunt. “I want another finger, please?” she begged, and Natasha gave her what she wanted. Pushing a third finger into her, she smirked as Carol let out a whine.

“I’m so close, please Mommy?” Carol cried, trying to hold her orgasm back, but it was becoming too much.

“Come for me, baby.”

With that, Carol came with muffled moan as Natasha slipped her fingers into her mouth. Letting her ride out her high, Natasha fucked her through orgasm. Pulling her fingers out, she brought them to her own lips, humming at the taste. “You taste so good.” she commented, wiping her fingers off on her pants.

“You ready for dinner?” she asked with a smirk only Carol knew meant she wasn’t done with her just yet.

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 3

First of all, wow. When I decided to post those online, I was expecting that they would be read by two people, both of whom I personally know. It was in equal part surprising and terrifying that so many of you ventured here. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it. 

Episode 3 is probably my favourite case. It’s not perfectly strung together, there is little actual investigative work in it, but it’s a beautiful story of boundless love and devotion, which echoes through the relationship between our protagonists

Professor Shen is looking at some materials that are looking suspiciously like research into something supernatural, when Zhang Ruonan makes an appearance at his office, claiming that she is absolutely fine, while clearly being very far away from fine. This is something Shen Wei can certainly relate to, because he is the king of hiding his ailments from others. 

Zhu Hong’s one-sided affection for Zhao Yunlan starts to show already in this episode:  while he has the cold, she nags him to take care of himself, shoves tissues into his hands, and presses him to drink his meds. It’s easy to imagine even this early on that she will be the woman drunk dialling him one day. 

I know this could be seen as straightbaiting, but I honestly thing that the actual purpose it serves in the show is the opposite; I’ll talk more about it when we get there.

Zhao Yunlan spends a lot of this episode in Shen Wei’s office, starting with this scene, in which is obviously flexing. Not only does he sneeze all over the office, he goes to eat Shen Wei’s cake after specifically being told not to eat it.  He also takes his opportunity to mix questioning with flirting, as is his usual way. He keeps eye contact while spooning cake into his mouth, as he explains, jovially, that another mysterious death on his campus cannot possibly be a coincidence. And, to be fair, he is not really wrong. We are meant to believe that this is all set in motion by Zhu Jiu, aka the least scary villain in the history of villainy, and an owner of your staple baby goth wig. I will not mention him again until the plot makes it impossible for me not to do so. 

Zhang Ruonan comes in, and Zhao Yunlan introduces himself as Shen Wei’s good friend. Which is half-way between a flex and an act of kindness. On one hand, he could have said he was from the police - which would be absolutely true - and risk tarnishing the professor’s good name. On the other hand, he could probably look less pleased with himself. Shen Wei, at the very least, looks neither grateful, nor amused. 

Zhao Yunlan asks her if she new the victim and she looks incredibly shifty as she flees. He is right to think that something is up, and he correctly assumes trauma, rather than guilt. We can now start to see that he is very very good at reading people. It must be equal parts thrilling and disconcerting for him to have met something who he decisively cannot read. Shen Wei vouches for the woman, partly, surely, because his Hei Pao Shi sense is tingling, letting him know that someone is eavesdropping. 

Despite feeling uneasy, Shen Wei still offers Guo Changcheng, who is left to collect various paperwork from his desk, a little smile. He has a reason to like Xiao Guo, of course: he was the one to see the young man’s kindness and understanding, and he is already growing protective of him, way before he will start seeing members of the special unit as his people. This reminds me of how many months later, he will subtly, but decisively stop a barrage of verbal abuse against Xiao Guo by dropping a pair of chopsticks. 

Zhao Yunlan is taking Xiao Guo with him on the case rather than anyone else, partly, supposedly, because of Guo Changcheng’s familial connections. The young man looks more sure of himself, asking correct questions, dutifully records answers. He also tries to look after his Chief by asking him to go home and rest. He does phrase it badly, but Zhao Yunlan has a thing against his own health and well-being, so he reacts extra poorly.

Soon after, Zhao Yunlan’s at Shen Wei’s office yet again, as Shen Wei tries his best to ignore him, in the hope that he… well, maybe not goes away, but does not ask him anything that will require him lying. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is asking Shen Wei why he is bad at reading people, which is a very strange thing to ask. Shen Wei answers his question with a question, “Will seeing through people really lessen the hurt and disappointment?” Adding, “Many tragedies were destined from the beginning”. He looks well.. like this as he says it. 

This is loaded. On first glance, it’s a pretty good set-up to the way this story will unfold, as a tragedy of two individuals who let their devotion to each other nearly ruin each other’s life. A fragile human and a dangerous powered Undergroundian: what else is that, but a tragedy, waiting to happen? But this story - this one right in front of us - will not end tragically, at least not for the two people it enters around. It could do so, but it will not. Maybe, this truly is the first hint that this entire narrative, so carefully set up from the very first time Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei meet, is destined to be a tragedy. Moreover, that it must be one, for some cosmic reason. 

(… I apologise while I go have a little cry in the corner. Damn you, Guardian, why do you make me hurt so much?)

Da Qing inexplicably morphs from black cat to a human in white t-shirt while doing night shadowing, and promptly falls asleep on patrol. Why is he being sent to stake anyone out? He is least suitable for it.  He is literally a cat. He sleeps 16 hours a day. 

Surprisingly, when pressed, Zhang Ruonan comes clean very easily, revealing that she was a victim of the three students she failed (two of which are already dead and one one standing right next to them), who lured her out at night, which left her vulnerable to be attacked. Zhao Yunlan listens to this story, and instead of… oh I don’t know, perhaps asking her the identity of the third student, leaves to go find that out for himself. It is heavily implied that he does it on purpose, which is definitely not okay.  

Moreover, he goes and... asks Shen Wei. This makes me suspect that he’s not really thinking with his head at this point. As he does so, he is brandishing a letter opener. 

Shen Wei is looking even less impressed with him than he did during their last few conversations. 

Zhao Yunlan is a little bit flippant when it comes to students’ lives this episode. And yes, they have done something really quite horrible to another human being, but that's not a very good excuse to let the last of them just die. As it happens, the situation Yunlan created - perhaps on purpose - did lure out Zhao Ruonan’s murder girlfriend, but it also cost a student his life. Which is far from ideal, but is somehow never even mentioned. Instead of being aghast, he sits on the table as he goes into full interrogation mode. (As he will continue to do a lot. Sometimes he crouches on tables instead. There is no further point here, apart from: I like this character quirk. It’s a nice character quirk.)

He brings some of his team in at this point, and asks Zhu Hong to continue interrogation. It would be a nice gesture is he did not interject two questions in. 

“How do you regard your relationship with Wang Yike?”

“We are family.”

They are definitely, decisively not going for sisterly bond here. Which is kind of incredible. This is one of the moments the amorphous being that show is looks at the censors, wiggles its battered low budget eyebrows at them, and then proceeds to flip them off. Well done, Guardian. 

Wang Yike calls Zhang Ruonan, saying there is one more victim she needs to take care of, and Lin Jing traces the call back to campus. Zhao Yunlan, who did not even bat an eyelid at a dead student earlier, now looks decisively worried  

“Oh no. Professor Shen.” 

The only reason Shen Wei is attacked is jealousy. Wang Yike does not know this of course, but trying to kill him is a bad move, because a) he has long ago given his heart away, and is definitely not interested; b) this is probably the only thing she could do to make the man on the case very very upset; c) Shen Wei’s immune to her powers. 

“Someone like you will never understand what she means to me!” Wang Yike shouts eventually. “As long as I can protect her, my life has worth!” And, even as Wang Yike has no way of knowing it, these are the words that ultimately save both her and her loved one. Because Shen Wei does in fact understand what Zhang Ruonan means to her. His own endless and ultimately self-destructive devotion is his main driving force.

Shen Wei pretends to be hurt, again, which earns him a half-hug from the object of his devotion. If Zhao Yunlan does notice that Shen Wei should really come out of this attack grey haired and dead, and not just mildly inconvenienced, he chooses not to say anything. 

Worried about her murder girlfriend, Zhang Ruonan rushes in and accidentally touches her. Zhao Yunlan Freaks The Hell Out. Shen Wei does, too, but in his own, reserved, way. They are both emotionally invested in those two people, although for very different reasons: Shen Wei is acutely feeling resonance of his own past in their story, and Zhao Yunlan, I think, wants to fix it, he wants to be able to make it better. Instead, Shen Wei fixes it for him, turning the tide on this tragedy, and giving it a happy ending. He heals Zhang Ruonan right in front of the officers of SID, albeit with much subtlety. (“Have someone saved her right under our noses?” Zhu Hong will snort the very same evening, and she will be 100% correct.)

Shen Wei also lets Wang Yike go despite the undeniable fact that she did kill three people. Here, he is looking at the picture of this human/Undergroundian couple, surviving despite all odds, and touches his only reminder that Kunlun really was in his life. 

He then burns the picture as the only evidence that Wang Yike was not punished by him for her crimes. 

In the end, Guo Chengcheng is making first of his many diary notes about the events, recounting a conversation between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan we had not witnessed, in which Shen Wei mentioned a relationship based on devotion that can last a thousand years, and Zhao Yunlan called such a relationship “guarding”. Finally, Guo Changcheng hopes that he can become a guardian of all. 

And this is making me think that this absolutely should be a set-up for him becoming a wick of the guardian lantern, as per every single other decision that was made prior to the last two episodes. Right? This is a perfect foreshadowing, and mentioning it here, so early in the show would not make any sense if it were a deliberate subversion. So, was Guo Changcheng meant to become the wick after all before... what, some rewrites happened? What made the final episode be what it was in the end?

(This is a genuine question by that way, if anyone has any insight on the matter.)

The episode would end here, if this was a western show, with a familiar monster of the week structure, but it does not. At least, the way it ends is reminiscent of a cliffhanger, with Zhao Yunlan catching Shen Wei in a middle of a crime scene, and looking betrayed. 

Next episode: Lynchian Nightmare, aka people without faces. 

PS.

I did not have a seamless way to stick this in anywhere but... Shen Wei’s technological ineptness at the max: he does not know how to use a Polaroid camera. Help him, he is so lost.

——

Second point of housekeeping to say a few things: 

I don’t think I will be consistent with certain things being transliterated versus translated. I am more likely to use Hei Pao Shi rather than Black Cloak Envoy (because the later reminds me of Tuxedo Mask, which makes me inwardly giggle every time) but at the same time I am also more likely to use Underground/Undergroundian rather than Dixing/Dixingren. I am more likely to use Xiao rather than Little, but have called Chu Old rather than Lao before. I hope that’s not grating, but do tell me if it is

My recaps are Shen Wei-heavy. I have no real explanation for this, apart from.. I like Shen Wei. 

I realise that there will definitely be things here that are head canon and speculation rather than flat observations; this show is a work of fiction and a work of art, which cannot be interpreted objectively. If you have alternate takes on anything I write in the future, let me know! 

[thebananatroll]

Chapter 1 (part 11)

十七 日后谈 . 一 Shíqī rìhòu tán. Yī Seventeen Chatting the day after. (I don’t know why there’s 1 here, so I’m just gonna ignore it since there’s no chapter named part 2 after this :v)

[???] 你还知道回来! 你还知道回来呐喵! Nǐ hái zhīdào huílái! Nǐ hái zhīdào huílái nà miāo! You still know how to come back! You still know how to come back, nya!

[???] 本座的小鱼干, 本座的枸杞茶杯, 还有本座的办事处全都被你弄没呐喵! 喵喵喵! Běn zuò de xiǎo yú gàn, běn zuò de gǒuqǐ chábēi, hái yǒu běn zuò de bànshì chù quándōu bèi nǐ nòng méi nà miāo! Miāo miāo miāo! This Lord’s dried fish, this Lord’s wolfberry tea cups, even this Lord’s the agency all without exception have been made no more by you, nya! Meow meow meow!

[Narration] 一团毛球一闪而过， 一jio蹬在我的胸口-- Yī tuán máo qiú yī shǎn érguò, yī jio dēng zài wǒ de xiōngkǒu-- A ball of fur flashes over, a foot stepping onto my stomach--

[Player] 陆..…吾.....你.....太重了! Lù..…Wú..... Nǐ..... Tài zhòngle! Lu....Wu....You....are too heavy!

[陆吾] (Lu Wu, the cat you see in the game to collect your daily login rewards) [Player]你居然还有心思嫌弃本座的体重呐喵! 你要是再不把小鱼干和办事处还回来， 本座就坐��你身上不走呐喵! [Player] nǐ jūrán hái yǒu xīnsī xiánqì běn zuò de tǐzhòng nà miāo! Nǐ yàoshi zàibu bǎ xiǎo yú gàn hé bànshì chù hái huílái, běn zuò jiùzuò zài nǐ shēnshang bù zǒu nà miāo! [Player], you surprisingly still have to mood to dislike this Lord’s body weight, nya! If you do not return this Lord’s dry fish and agency, this Lord will continue to sit on your body, nya!

[???] 空桑少主呜呜呜呜--你可终于回来啦呜呜呜-- Kōng sāng shǎo zhǔ wū wū wū wū--nǐ kě zhōngyú huílái la wū wū wū-- Kong Sang Young Miss, sob sob sob-- You finally came back, sob sob sob--

[Narration] 不详的预感从房门外传来。 ���不然， 一个 “粉毛” 撞了进来， 哭得梨花带雨， 扑倒在我的床榻旁…… Bùxiáng de yùgǎn cóng fáng mén wàizhuàn lái. Guǒ bùrán, yīgè “fěn máo” zhuàngle jìnlái, kū dé líhuā dài yǔ, pū dào zài wǒ de chuángtà páng…… An ominous presentiment from outside the room’s door can be heard. As expected, a “Pink Fluff” runs in,  a tear-stained face of a crying beauty, falling onto the couch next to my bed...

[甘玲珑] (Gan Ling Long, the mentioned pink person) 我还以为你被饕餮吞进肚子里啦呜呜呜呜! 正打算去幽冥司找你-- Wǒ hái yǐwéi nǐ bèi tāotiè tūn jìn dùzi lǐ la wū wū wū wū! Zhèng dǎsuàn qù yōumíng sī zhǎo nǐ-- I had thought that you were swallowed into Tao Tie’s stomach sob sob sob! I was planning to go to the Underworld Division to find you--

[Player] 呸呸呸! 我活的好好儿的! 别说些有的没的-- Pēi pēi pēi! Wǒ huó de hǎohǎo er de! Bié shuō xiē yǒu de méi de-- Pei, pei, pei! I’m alive and in good condition! Don’t say such things--

[Narration] 房门外陆续传来一席脚步声, 看来， 他们也要登场了…… Fáng mén wài lùxù chuán lái yīxí jiǎobù shēng, kàn lái, tāmen yě yào dēngchǎngle…… Sounds of footsteps can be heard from outside the door, it seems that, they are about to debut as well...

[熙颜] (Xi Yan) 哎呀呀 ~ 我最喜欢的小少主回来了 ~ 快让姐姐抱一抱 ~ Āiyā ya ~ wǒ zuì xǐhuān de xiǎo shǎo zhǔ huíláile ~ kuài ràng jiějiě bào yī bào ~ Ai ya ya~ My most favourite Young Miss has returned~ Quickly come let older sister hug you~

[陆吾] 咳唔! 咸味使, 你的胸口上似乎有一块饼干碎片， 本座看见了, 自然不能不管, 就让本座帮你把这块可恶的饼干拍下来喵-- Hāi wú! Xián wèi shǐ, nǐ de xiōngkǒu shàng sìhū yǒu yīkuài bǐnggān suìpiàn, běn zuò kànjiànle, zìrán bùnéng bùguǎn, jiù ràng běn zuò bāng nǐ bǎ zhè kuài kěwù de bǐnggān pāi xiàlái miāo-- Ahem! Envoy of Saltiness, there seems to be some biscuit crumbs on your chest, this Lord sees it, it naturally can’t be ignored, so allow this Lord to help paw those hateful biscuit crumbs off, meow--

[Narration] 陆吾一跃而起， 一爪儿拍在咸昧使熙颜的胸口上! 众人一惊， 已知大事不妙， 登时退避三尺-- Lù wú yī yuè ér qǐ, yī zhuǎ er pāi zài xián mèi shǐ xī yán de xiōngkǒu shàng! Zhòngrén yī jīng, yǐ zhī dàshì bù miào, dēngshí tuìbì sān chǐ-- Lu Wu suddenly pounces, swatting a paw at the Envoy of Saltiness Xi Yan’s chest! Everyone is startled, and with each knowing that the situation is about a turn for the worse, all withdraw with three steps back--

[ 陆吾] 咳唔! 不必谢本座， 这是本座应该做呐喵。 “陆吾办事处， 必有过人处” , 本座-- Hāi wú! Bùbì xiè běn zuò, zhè shì běn zuò yīnggāi zuò nà miāo. “Lù wú bànshì chù, bì yǒuguò rén chù”, běn zuò-- Ahem! No need for thanks, this is something that this Lord should do, nya. “Lu Wu’s agency, where expectations are surpassed”, this Lord--

[ 陆吾] 唔喵咸味使你做……#&* (%#@! ! 本座--*&#@* (不要--**&…… ￥#%…… Wú miāo xián wèi shǐ nǐ zuò……#&* (%#@! ! Běn zuò--*&#@* (bùyào--**&…… ¥#%…… Um-mya, Envoy of Saltiness, what are you doing.... #&* (%#@! ! This Lord-- *&#@* ( No--**&…… ￥#%……

[ 陆吾] 唔喵 ----!!!!! UMYAAAAAA-!!!

[枯无] (Ku Wu) 少主, 您回来了。 这份是五味使对空桑损失进行评估后得出的统计报告， 您请确认盖章。 稍后我们会将报告递交至九重天。 Shǎo zhǔ, nín huíláile. Zhè fèn shì wǔwèi shǐ duì kōng sāng sǔnshī jìnxíng pínggū hòu dé chū de tǒngjì bàogào, nín qǐng quèrèn gài zhāng. Shāo hòu wǒmen huì jiāng bàogào dìjiāo zhì jiǔchóng tiān Young Miss, you have returned. These statistical reports are the result of the Envoys of Five Flavour’s evaluation of Kong Sang’s damages, requesting for your seal of confirmation. We will submit the reports to the Nine Layers of Heaven in a moment.

[辛懿] (Xin Yi) 看上去还挺精神? 事先提醒你报告递交以后， 免不了九重天下达的责罚令。 Kàn shàngqù hái tǐng jīngshén? Shìxiān tíxǐng nǐ bàogào dìjiāo yǐhòu, miǎnbule jiǔchóng tiānxià dá de zéfá lìng. You still seem to be quite spirited? I remind you in advance that once the report is submitted, the Nine Layers of Heaven’s penalty order will be unavoidable.

[辛懿] 不过届时我会为你求情， 让责罚方式改为 “吃十斤辣椒” 便了事吧。 Bùguò jièshí wǒ huì wèi nǐ qiúqíng, ràng zéfá fāngshì gǎi wèi “chī shí jīn làjiāo” biànliǎo shì ba. But I will plea leniency for you when the time comes, changing the punishment to settle at eating 10 catty of chillis.

[Player] .....

[Player] 苏安， 你没有台词吗? Sū ān , nǐ méiyǒu táicí ma? Su An, do you have any lines to say?

[苏安] 需要什么台词? 看戏不好吗? Xūyào shénme táicí? Kàn xì bù hǎo ma? What lines need to be said? Is it not good to watch the show?

[Narration] 这五位大人, 便是空桑五味使。 他们是爹爹的部下, 也是监督空桑运作的组织。 Zhè wǔwèi dàrén, biàn shì kōng sāng wǔ wèi shǐ. Tāmen shì diēdiē de bùxià, yěshì jiāndū kōng sāng yùnzuò de zǔzhī. These 5 elders, they are Kong Sang’s Envoys of Five flavours. They are father’s subordinates, and the organization that supervises Kong Sang’s operations.

[Player] 饕餮入侵空桑的时候, 你们都去哪里了…… Tāotiè rùqīn kōng sāng de shíhòu, nǐmen dōu qù nǎlǐle…… When Tao Tie invaded Kong Sang, where did all of you go...

[ 陆吾] 那日恰巧是五味使前往九重天向天帝汇报的日子呐喵! Nà rì qiàqiǎo shì wǔwèi shǐ qiánwǎng jiǔchóng tiān xiàng tiāndì huìbào de rìzi nà miāo! Coincidentally, that day was the day when the Envoy of Five Flavours had to depart for the Nine Layers of Heaven to report to the Celestial Emperor, nya!

[Player] 那你呢? 你不总号称自己是 “空桑守护神" 嘛? 有难题找 “陆吾办事处, 必有过人处” ? Nà nǐ ne? Nǐ bù zǒng hàochēng zìjǐ shì “kōng sāng shǒuhù shén" ma? Yǒu nántí zhǎo “lù wú bànshì chù, bì yǒuguò rén chù”? Then what about you? Don’t you always claim yourself to be the “Guardian of Kong Sang”? If there’s a difficult problem, find “Lu Wu’s agency, where expectations are surpassed”?

[ 陆吾] 那日九重天开设蟠桃宴! 本座, 本座怎么能不出席呐喵! Nà rì jiǔchóng tiān kāishè pántáo yàn! Běn zuò, běn zuò zěnme néng bù chūxí nà miāo! There was a Pan Tao feast on the ninth day! This Lord, how could this Lord not attend, nya!

(蟠桃 pán táo - the peaches of immortality kept by Xi Wang Mu 西王母)

[Player] 你还吃! 你再吃你就飞不起来了－－ Nǐ hái chī! Nǐ zài chī nǐ jiù fēi bù qǐláile-- You still eat! Keep eating and you won’t be able to fly up anymore--

[甘玲珑] 哎呀? 少主居然自己一个人把佛跳墙和小笋带回来啦? 这也太厉害了吧? Āiyā? Shǎo zhǔ jūrán zìjǐ yīgè rén bǎ fútiàoqiáng hé xiǎo sǔn dài huílái la? Zhè yě tài lìhàile ba? Aiya? Young Miss actually brought back Fo Tiao Qiang and Xiao Sun all by herself!? Isn’t that quite impressive?

[甘玲珑] 小笋~ ~ ~玲珑我也好想你~ ~ ~ Xiǎo sǔn ~ ~ ~línglóng wǒ yě hǎo xiǎng nǐ ~ ~ ~  Xiao Sun~~ This Ling Long has also missed you~~~

[鸡茸金丝笋] 你、 你是谁! 不要过来! 快走开-- nǐ, nǐ shì shéi! Bùyào guòlái! Kuàizǒu kāi-- You, who are you! Do not come over! Quickly go away--

[鸡茸金丝笋] 这空桑怎么全是些怪人! 放开我! 我要回福州-- Zhè kōng sāng zěnme quán shì xiē guàirén! Fàng kāi wǒ! Wǒ yào huí fúzhōu-- Why is everyone in Kong Sang a bunch of weirdos! Release me! I want to go back to Fu Zhou--

[Narration] 一群人在我的房间里打打闹闹一团乱， 好不容易待到他们一个个塞暄完离开房间... Yīqún rén zài wǒ de fángjiān lǐ dǎ dǎ nào nào yī tuán luàn, hǎobù róngyì dài dào tāmen yīgè gè sāi xuān wán líkāi fángjiān... The crowd in my room becomes a disorder of boisterous noises, only leaving the room together after stuffing geniality into each one with great difficulty...

[鹄羹] 少主， 你还好吗? Shǎo zhǔ, nǐ hái hǎo ma? Young Miss, are you alright?

[Player] 他们真的是……太吵了…… Tāmen zhēn de shì……tài chǎole…… They are truly....too noisy...

[鹄羹] 不好吗? 这表明偌大空桑， 依旧充满生机。 Bù hǎo ma? Zhè biǎomíng ruòdà kōng sāng, yījiù chōngmǎn shēngjī. Isn’t it good? This shows that this large Kong Sang is still brimming with life.

[Player] 也是……若我从空桑醒来， 身边并无一人， 我才会觉得寂寞呢…… Yěshì……ruò wǒ cóng kōng sāng xǐng lái, shēnbiān bìng wú yīrén, wǒ cái huì juédé jìmò ne…… Still...If I wake up in Kong Sang, with no one by my side, I would still feel lonely...

[Player] 鹄羹， 你...与那易牙是旧识? 你们看上去似乎很了解彼此... Gǔ gēng, nǐ... Yǔ nà yì yá shì jiù shí? Nǐmen kàn shàngqù sìhū hěn liǎojiě bǐcǐ... Hu Geng, you..and that Yi Ya were acquaintances? It seems like you two know each other...

[Player] 他还提到鹄羹你的哥哥...原来你还有哥哥呀? Tā hái tí dào gǔ gēng nǐ dí gēgē... Yuánlái nǐ hái yǒu gēgē ya? He even mentioned your brother...It turns out that you still have a brother?

[Narration] 提及此事， 鹄羹脸色少有地沉了下来…… Tí jí cǐ shì, gǔ gēng liǎnsè shǎo yǒu de chénle xiàlái…… Mentioning this matter, Hu Geng shows a rare solemn expression...

[鹄羹] 我哥哥 …十多年前已魂飞魄散.... Wǒ gēgē…shí duō nián qián yǐ húnfēipòsàn.... My brother....had his soul flown away and scattered 10 years ago...

(Apparently, 魂飞魄散 means to be terror-strickened. But I’m not sure if if they’re trying to play some sort of double meaning here and say that the brother’s soul was literally destroyed or if the story meant that Hu Geng’s brother was driven mad by terror instead.)

[鹄羹]  每每提及， 心中沉痛， 所以... Měiměi tí jí, xīnzhōng chéntòng, suǒyǐ... Whenever this is mentioned, my heart aches, so...

[Player] 抱歉! 原来是这样……我再也不提了! 你不要难过…… Bàoqiàn! Yuánlái shì zhèyàng……wǒ zài yě bù tíle! Nǐ bùyào nánguò…… Sorry! So it’s like this... I won't mention it again! Please don’t be upset...

[Narration] 鹄羹笑了笑， 摇摇头…… Gǔ gēng xiàole xiào, yáo yáotóu…… Hu Geng smiles, shaking his head...

[鹄羹] 易牙与伊挚大人曾同是九重天的厨师。 我作为伊挚大人的助手居于九重天之时， 与易牙偶有接触。 Yì yá yǔ yī zhì dàrén céng tóng shì jiǔchóng tiān de chúshī. Wǒ zuòwéi yī zhì dàrén de zhùshǒu jūyú jiǔchóng tiān zhī shí, yǔ yì yá ǒu yǒu jiēchù. Yi Ya and Master Yi Zhi were similarly once chefs of the Nine Layers of Heaven. When I lived with Master Yi Zhi in the Nine Layers of Heaven as his assistant, I would have occasional contact with Yi Ya.

[鹄羹] 他因 “杀子飨君” 的背景失去竟选食神的资格, 或许， 因此对伊挚大人心怀怨怼。 Tā yīn “shā zi xiǎng jūn” de bèijǐng shīqù jìng xuǎn shíshén de zīgé, huòxǔ, yīncǐ duì yī zhì dàrén xīnhuái yuànduì. He lost the qualification to be chosen as the God of Food due to the background of "Killng his son to offer as food to his Lord", and perhaps, consequently bore a grudge against Master Yi Zhi.

[Player] 易牙曾提到爹爹用不正当的手段夺取食神之位， 那这自然也不能当真咯? Yì yá céng tí dào diēdiē yòng bù zhèngdàng de shǒuduàn duóqǔ shíshén zhī wèi, nà zhè zìrán yě bùnéng dàngzhēn gē? Yi Ya once mentioned that father used dishonest means to seize the God of Food position, naturally this can’t also be trusted?

[鹄羹] 伊挚大人光明磊落， 又十分重感情， 鹄羹不相信大人会做出违背良心之事。 Yī zhì dàrén guāngmínglěiluò, yòu shí fèn zhòng gǎnqíng, gǔ gēng bù xiāngxìn dàrén huì zuò chū wéibèi liángxīn zhī shì. Master Yi Zhi is open and candid, and attaches great importance to emotional sentiments, Hu Geng does not believe that Master would do anything against his conscience.

[Player] 那么易牙所说 “宴仙坛主人” 的身份你可有头绪? Nàme yì yá suǒ shuō “yàn xiān tán zhǔrén” de shēnfèn nǐ kě yǒu tóuxù? What about Yi Ya saying that you would have a clue about the identity of Yan Xian Tan’s Young Master”?

[鹄羹] 我……没有。 如果是他…… Wǒ……méiyǒu. Rúguǒ shì tā…… I...do not. If it’s him....

[Narration] 鹄羹又摇了摇头…… Gǔ gēng yòu yáole yáotóu…… Hu Geng shakes his head again...

[鹄羹] 不， 没什么， 应该不会是他…… Bù, méishénme, yīnggāi bù huì shì tā…… No, it’s nothing, it shouldn’t be him...

[鹄羹] 少主今后有什么打算? 继续穿越时空， 寻找食魂吗? Shǎo zhǔ jīnhòu yǒu shé me dǎsuàn? Jìxù chuānyuè shíkōng, xúnzhǎo shí hún ma? What are the Young Miss’ plans from now on? Continue to travel through time and space, looking for Food Souls?

[Player] 当然。 此行福州, 得知易牙也在穿越时空, 拉拢食魂加入宴仙坛。 Dāngrán. Cǐ xíng fúzhōu, dé zhī yì yá yě zài chuānyuè shíkōng, lālǒng shí hún jiārù yàn xiān tán. Of course. During this trip to Fu Zhou, I learned that Yi Ya is also traveling through time and space, attracting Food Souls to join Yan Xian Tan.

[Player] 他行事迅速， 不知道有多少食魂已经落到了他手里。 Tā xíngshì xùnsù, bù zhīdào yǒu duōshǎo shí hún yǐjīng luò dàole tā shǒu lǐ. He moves fast, it is unknown how many Food Souls have already fallen into his hands.

[Player] 太极芋泥他……唉 也不知道他怎么想的。 太极如此聪慧, 竟也辨不出个好坏来? Tàijí yù ní tā……āi yě bù zhīdào tā zěnme xiǎng de. Tàijí rúcǐ cōnghuì, jìng yě biàn bù chū gè hǎo huài lái? Tai Chi Taro, he....Haa, I don’t even know what he’s thinking. Tai Chi Taro is intelligent, yet is unable to distinguish between good and bad?

[Player] 所以我们不能停下脚步， 必须跟上易牙， 阻止他拉拢其他不明状况的食魂。 Suǒyǐ wǒmen bùnéng tíng xià jiǎobù, bìxū gēn shàng yì yá, zǔzhǐ tā lālǒng qítā bùmíng zhuàngkuàng de shí hún. So we can’t stop moving, we have to catch up with Yi Ya, stopping him from recruiting other unwitting Food Souls who are unaware of the situation.

[鹄羹] 下个目的地， 少主可想好了? Xià gè mùdì de, shǎo zhǔ kě xiǎng hǎole? For the next destination, has Young Miss already made a decision?

[Player] 我们去民国沿着津浦铁路走吧! 先把德州和阿符他们找回来! Wǒmen qù mínguó yánzhe jīnpǔ tiělù zǒu ba! Xiān bǎ dézhōu hé ā fú tāmen zhǎo huí lái! We will go to the Republic of China and follow the Jin Pu Railway! To bring back De Zhou and Ah Fu first!

(De Zhou = 德州扒鸡 , A Fu = 符离集烧鸡)

[鹄羹] 就依少主的意思， 下一站， 民国津浦铁路-- Jiù yī shǎo zhǔ de yìsi, xià yí zhàn, mínguó jīnpǔ tiělù-- As Young Miss wishes, next stop, Republic of China Jin Pu Railway--

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 5 Part 2

and we’re back!!!

i have my water, im eating some tuna noodle casserole

i have almond kisses for after

my phone is plugged in

as mr. time-literally-stopped-when-jungwoo-said-he-was-full-because-of-his-friendship-with-me mark lee would say, lezgeddit

20-10 spots

20th is XIA HANYU!!!! (a bitch sleeps with his eyes open what the fuck) (aww he looks so cute tho!!)

19th is shi mingze!!! (i love my boy smmmm) (him and mingming im T.T)

18th is chen sijen!

17th is XU LONGHAN IM CRYING IM SO PROUD OF HIM (like im actually cryignn i love him so much you guys)

16th is linmo!!! (love my mr. tyger leader i am cryign)

15th is hu wenxuan!! (babyyyyyy)

14th is feng junjie! (so proud of himmm)

13th is wang zhe!! (he made such a stupid face i love him alkdjf;lskdj)

12th is deng chaoyuan!

11th is shi zhan!

10th is YAO CHI!!! (THE LOVE OF MY LIFEEEE)

he has to squat down hhhh

awww hanyu is thanking hanhan T.T

also hanhan looks like a prince rn just saying

aww he’s thanking the tarzan group as a whole too T.T

please cut mingze’s hair it’s becoming to close to a mullet for me to be happy with

longhan thanked the cameramen too im TT.TT

linmo is going to make me cry

but i cant bc my mom is in the room and i dont want her to make fun of me

junjie is also gonna make me cry but it’s fine

OF FUCK HE IS WISHING HIS MOM A HAPPY BIRTHDYA FUUUCK

awwww all of the trainees are clapping too T.T

xixi even called out happy birthday i

yao chi is gonna be next to speak

oh thank god she’s gone let the waters work

shi zhan is gonna make yixing cry too

oh ok is that all we get to hear from him? ok then

no tears i guess

people who have seen this before: *plays clown music*

Me: *sadly juggles while riding a tricycle*

great another cut away

jiayi is a dork thanks

i also havent heard anything about huaiwei i hope that he can make it i know he does right??  like go for a while

anyway a group of guys are going to yangyang’s hometown province T.T

i mean they’re going to do some charitiy work but still

huaiwei looks so cuteeee

guan yue is adorable dsk;fjasdkj

lian huaiwei: my fringe is divided!!!

babyyy

wow the people who work here have really done a lot to help the people here

alksdfjskl they have a sheep helper there and wang jiayi immediately was like lemme see lemme see the sheeps

awww there’s a bunch of super cool pupppet

aldkjfasd they’re having so much fun dorks

kdsjflaksdjfs they’re making the puppets fight now adkjfs;

akas;ldkfs huaiwei is so cuteeee

aww they’re making dough figures thats adorable

im gonna get that mf moment of huaiwei smiling if it kills me

bestest boy ever *clap clap clap*

fuckign

back to the emotional shit now i guess

@ iqiyi stop taking me on emotional rollercoasters challenge

ten seats left to be filled

9-1 spots

9th is XIXI!!!! (IM SO PROUDDDD)  (his and jiayi’s hug i )

8th is WANG JIAYI!!! (SHEEP HELPER I!!!  I AM SO HAPPY FO RHIM)

7th is YAO MINGMING!!! (IM SO HAPPY FO RMY LVOE)

6th is LIAN HUAIWEI!!! (AM ALSO CRYING FOR MY BOY I LOVE HIM SO MCUH)

5th is YANGYANG!!! (BABY BOY. BABY!)

4th is JIAYI!!! (IM SO PROUD OF MY BABY BOYYYY)

3rd is GUAN YUE!!! (everyone started quoting his part oft he rap akdjlksd)

2nd is CHEN YOUWEI!!! (SMILEY EYES !)

1st is LI WENHAN!!! (BARBIE BOY!!!)

lmaooo hanhan pushing yangyang to fall so jiayi can help him up laksdjf;laskd

oh mingmings speech might make me cry but it’s fine

why are they playing a lullaby in the background aksdjfa;sd

aljsfd;aksd he forgot to grab the microphone adkjs

hes so cute im so crying over him

it’s so cute to see how many freinds he has amongs the trainees

aa;lsdkfjasd yangyang is adorable

wenhan and wenxuan look so proud of him i might be emoition

yixing just called him a cutely serious leader

huaiwei looks so excited for him T.T

yixing’s eyebrows shot up at seeing th enumber

it went from 4 mil to 6mil

WEIWEI IS SUCH A DORK ADSFLKAJSD;FKLJAD

asdlfkskldjf yixing is such a nerd i love him

awwww all of the mr. tyger members making the lil claw at him i am crying lads

hanhan and jiayi’s friendship is so precious i am crying

xixi looks so proud of himmmmmm we are crying boys

someone is wearing something v jingly and the osund editors did not fix it in post and it shows

asldkfjas somoene slapped huaiwei in the face on accident

it’s between hanhan and weiwei which i uh wasnt expecting kiddos

damn im proud of both of them

jiayi jumping in the background ldjakjf

yangyang predicting his words is sending me

if youwei starts crying i will i gaurentee it

his hair looks really good in this style

lian huaiwei is so happy it’s his roommate !!!

those seats are deffo wide enough to sit crisscross applesauce in them

oh fuck that’s right the 60th trainee still has to be announced

the position is between wu fei, qi haoran, yao bolan, and a-key

60 spot

60th is yao bolan!

oh we about to be crying here lads for the rest of them

jiayi looks like he’s about to also which hurts

jinfan and a-key are the only members of mr. tyger to not proceed to the next round T.T

yao bolan is really going to make me cry isnt he

so is daniel

i think it’s the buttons on their blazers that make the sounds

oh someone’s sobbing looks like thats my cue boys

it’s cryin’ time!

oh yeah we have the art guidance people that were chosen as well

ohhhhhhh that’s who the senior seniors are!!!!

ok ok ok

yixing has the list

the first is bo yuan, who’s already listed

second is linmo, already listed

jiayi is third, already listed

fu hongyi is fourth!!!  he gets to move on to the next round!!!

someteimes when  a man is graceful he is good

we love to see it

oh shit hes gonna start crying

he just said his dream is to live to 100 and he hopes that everyone else will

and the next choice by the art guidance was lin zheyu

daniel looks like he’s gonnna start crying

sixth is zhan yu!

seventh is manny

eighth is deng chouyuan

ninth is li wenhan

tenth, and the last chance, is wang yi

jinfan ans weiwei and daniel all look devestated

yao chi is already crying for them i am too it’s fine

them as in the trainees who arent able to maek it

god after yixing leaves them to it i will be sobbing and it will be a bad time for all

i hate how much i get attatched to these guys

it does hurt to se them go

why do i have the feeling several guys who made it will need more comforting than the ones who didnt

mr. tyger is making me sob it’s fine

i hate hearing them sob

yao chi is one of them who needed more comforting adlkfjs

daniel has a good support system

i hate these episodes i dont want to see them go

ou tianrui is out here to make me cry

all of them were

lu junjie is too philisophical for me rn i

ok previews for the next episode

oh fuck is there an injury????

oooh it’s gonna be the knight stage tho with xixi and huaiwei which, NICE

we get to see the boys fuck around in the snow a lil bit

and other in v dramatic reading or dancing parts interesting

wow that’s fucking morbid to have someone dancing next to a pile of blank chairs

ouch

ok that’s it for this episode!

i am covered in tears, and i am emotionally distraught

but im caught up to @baobeejun now i think so there’s an upside i suppose!

i lowkey think it’s funny to see how there’s so much snow for the boys but in the current season it’s like in spring with only some rain adlkfjsld;kj

alrighty i’ll see you guys next time!!!

stay safe and stay healthy!

<33333